Good Evening, Clarice

I do not recommend the opium for the next episode, Holly. Perhaps some speed to keep you awake. When we named this blog, we were working the clever angle of a TV “remote control” combined with what we hoped was “interesting” commentary. Caprica is beginning to sway me toward the other meaning of being remotely interested. Should Daniel be worried? “I don’t know,” I coyly respond. All I know is Breaking Bad and Justified are knocking on my door and I only have so much room in my schedule.

You are right that Daniel begins to suspect that the Zoe avatar is in the robot. The next episode is dedicated to his psychological warfare attempts to get her to reveal herself. It is supposed to be tense, but it comes across as tedious for the most part. As far as his character goes, his cold-blooded side is always so close on the heels of his “sensitive” side; it makes me wonder if there really is anything there other than his ambition. Is the Zobot more human than Daniel? Did you know/remember that Eric Stoltz was fired from “Back to the Future” after six weeks of shooting because of his “humorless” take on Marty McFly? I’m just saying. Someone needs to punch a giant syringe of adrenaline into the heart of this show.

We also have Joseph continuing to pursue leads on Tamara in New Cap City. This dude needs to seriously get in touch with his Tauron side in a hurry. His new guide turns to him at one point and says, “I thought Taurons had bigger stones.” Amen, sister. He does get his badass on briefly, but you wonder if it is going to be the exception more than the rule.

Ah Sister Clarice. Am I the only one who hears Anthony Hopkins pronounce this name every time I see it? I was also intrigued by the opium evangelism of the previous episode when Clarice witnesses to Amanda about God. She seemed sincere in her desire to share the peace of God with a suffering woman and not just trying to download some secret code. Clarice came on pretty strong and I thought she was really letting the cat out of the bag in terms of her involvement with STO. Amanda must have been too trashed to really catch it, though because there is not a hint of this in the next episode.

I am still interested…but just remotely. Hey...did you notice I coined the term "Zobot?"

Sister Clarice is a Stoner?

Okay, so I’m a week behind on Caprica, the show we love to hate.  Or we hate to love? Anyhoo, here are my thoughts about “The Imperfections of Memory,” originally aired March 12.

First, and obviously, the episode is about Amanda Graystone’s imperfect memories of her brother Darius.  She keeps seeing him in crowds, despite the fact he died in a car accident years ago.  As it turns out, she’s been so tortured in the past by her thoughts and imagined(?) sightings of him that she was institutionalized for 2.5 years.   She attempts to catch his image in the crowd on her cell phone, but the photos are so blurred (imperfect….) it’s not clear whether he was really there.

Amanda has gone so hot mess over this dead brother thing that she makes what I’m sure will be a bad decision and confides in Sister Clarice about it.  The two of them end up smoking some dope together.  Peace and love….. Oh yeah, and Sister Clarice gets a Jehovah’s Witness bee in her bonnet and starts witnessing about God to Amanda.  Amanda asks, “Which one?”  Hold on kids, here we go…..  All aboard for Gemenon.

What's up with Amanda playing coy with Daniel about her "friend" aka Clarice?  Ewww.  Just ewww.

A little more subtle is Joseph’s pursuit of his “memory” of Tamara.  Her avatar in V World is just a collection of the memories of her, and isn’t V World, at the end of the day, all in your head?  Nice work, tough guy, getting the kid killed in New Cap City.  Somehow I think he had your back more than your new V World guide, Emanuelle.  Just a hunch.  I’m psychic like that sometimes.

And on the subject of V World, how interesting was it that Zoe 2.0 (aka Zoe’s avatar) doesn’t like the cookie cutter look of V World?  She would really hate American suburbs. And she doesn’t want to level herself up to be a better pilot in the flight simulator program, she wants to learn to do it herself.  She wants to improve V World; make everything unique.  And she didn’t seem to approve of the immorality and escapism for which it was being used – wasn’t that what Daddy Daniel designed it to be?  And she drops some pretty strong hints that V World = afterlife.

Cylon Zoe.  I’m not too motivated to go there.  Okay, a few things if we must. We learn that a couple of Sister Clarice’s husbands have figured out that Zoe’s avatar has been downloaded somewhere other than the disk thingy Sister Clarice used to heist data in Daniel’s lab.  My DVR conked out before the end of the episode, but I understand that Daniel becomes suspicious that Zoe’s avatar is in the Cylon prototype.  Bet you’re not feeling so hot about that throwdown with Amanda in front of the robot now, are you flyboy?

Chip, what are your thoughts on this episode?  And more importantly, give me a heads up.  Will I need Sister Clarice to take me to an opium den first to get through the next one?

Peace,

Holly

EW or EWWW?

I mentioned part of my nightly routine is to fall asleep reading Entertainment Weekly. The March 12, 2010 issue had a list of the “10 Best TV shows Right Now!” Holly, I thought you would like to know that our opinions dovetail nicely in some places with this national publication. Not so much in others. The list goes as follows:

1. The Good Wife – I have not followed this, but I saw a portion of it last week. I have to admit, I was immediately caught up in the drama. I just don’t know if it can truly be called the best.

2. Breaking Bad – This should come as no surprise. We have been saying the same thing for a while. As we anticipate the premiere of the third season, get ready to get your blogface on.

3. LOST – I mentioned this show in my defense of network TV last month. I stand by that opinion as I am completely engrossed with the final season as it is airing now.

4. Friday Night Lights – I have read about how good this show is for years. I love football, but I have just not gotten into it.

5. Fringe – Another show on my list of redeeming features of the networks.

6. Modern Family – I have watched this a couple of times and it is very funny. It just has not made my appointment TV list.

7. Glee – Here is one for you, Holly. You have gushed over this show that I have yet to watch.

8. Southland – I have not watched this, either. It was originally on NBC, but they cancelled it and the cable channel TNT picked it up. It must be pretty good, then.

9. Damages – I have not followed this Glenn Close FX series, but I read it is good.

10. Caprica – Here is our love/hate darling in the top ten.

I am partial to a few other shows that did not make the cut. There are some I like that I am under no illusions are great shows (Sorry, Burn Notice). Yet, there are some that I believe rise above some of this list.

Glaringly absent is the Emmy and Golden Globe winning Mad Men. Is it because it is not on the air right now? I would also include FX’s series Rescue Me, TNT's Men of a Certain Age and HBO's True Blood. These are active series, but not currently airing new episodes. Is that the criteria?

Holly, what do you think? Would you boot some of these and replace them with others? Did you notice a mere 4 out of 10 are cable shows. My list would be more like 6 out of 10.

Here is how my list would look.

1. Mad Men - AMC

2. Breaking Bad - AMC

3. LOST - ABC

4. Fringe - FOX

5. True Blood - HBO

6. Rescue Me - FX

7. Men of a Certain Age - TNT

8. Glee - FOX

9. Better Off Ted - ABC

10. Caprica - SYFY

I Would Like to Thank the Academy

Just a moment here between hair and makeup for my Oscar shindig. What should I wear? Decisions, decisions. Going to take this brief window to boil this weekend's Caprica down to the few relevant points:

1.  How long till Cylon Zoe kills Philemon so they can live forever and ever, amen, in V World together?  Young love.  I'm throwing up in my mouth.

2.  I read Angels and Demons.  Fool me once.....

3.  More bloody montages inspired by The Godfather.  We get it.

4.  The afterlife is created/engineered?  This concept bears watching.

5.  Here's the important one.  Whatever Zoe was taking to Gemenon was the behest of Sister Clarice.  Clarice is in a different camp from Barnabas, as was made clear this episode.  Dead boyfriend/Harry Potter was a Barnabas alibi (bike shop guy is a double agent) and blew up the train and purported girlfriend Zoe to keep Zoe from getting whatever-it-was to Gemenon.

Patrick, I'm ready for my closeup.......

Peace, Holly

Tamara, the Baddest Tauron of Them All!

You were right, Chip, the suckitude of last week’s Caprica episode was way down.  Dare I say it, I think I enjoyed it.

Okay, what first?  It was nice to spend some time with the Adamas for a change. I didn’t think it was possible to get tired of Eric Stolz, but damn if it hadn’t happened to me these last few weeks.  And that was BEFORE that macabre scene with Zoe the Cylon ripping off her own arm on Daniel’s command.  But more about that later - back to the Adamas.

Let’s start with Tamara....who would’ve thunk it?  She is one tough kid.  I thought she was just another clueless teenager, but she’s a natural born Tauron killer in New Cap City.  I loved the scene near the end where she stood up to Vesta, or as I prefer to think of her, the Shirley MacClain - Pussycat Dolls Catwoman hybrid.  Seriously, doncha think that freak looked like a cross between these two?

Tamara’s realization she died in the STO terrorism and her dispatch of the gamer (what’s his name?) back to Caprica to find Joseph was interesting, made more so by the gamer’s running away from Joseph when he realized Tamara really was dead.  What’s going on with Tamara just got really interesting.

Loved, loved, loved, the fishing trip!  Willie is homicide waiting for a place to happen.  I just hope Uncle Sam’s there to see it.  He would be so proud.

Memo to Joseph Adama - lose the gold necklace and medallion.  And by the way, Hugh Hefner called.  He wants his smoking jacket back.

Okay, I think we’ve gotten to know all the Adamas now except Joseph’s deceased wife.  How long till she turns up in V World?  I just hope she’s half the woman her mother is and her daughter was.  The female Adamas’ comfort with knives and firearms has been impressive. I’m curious what Joseph’s wife’s skills are - nunchuks?

Other points - Lots of smoking this week.  Chip, sometime we need to do a comparison of the cigarette/drink/frak count in an episode of Caprica vs. one of Mad Men.  I can’t believe I just said frak.  Shizer.  I think I need a smoke and a drink.

More randomness – Chip, have you noticed that despite the many “worlds” (Caprica, V World, New Cap City, Tauron, and Gemenon), no one really seems to know what the object of the game is?  That’s the premise of the New Cap City game, but isn’t everyone playing it in their real world already?  Even the STO crew doesn’t seem to know what the real deal is – Sister Clarice doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be doing, and Zoe didn’t have a clue she was about to become a terrorist/martyr.

Random character observation - Cairon, the top gamer in New Cap City, gave me the willies.  Chip, what did you make of his makeup and pink nail polish?  I like me some Elton John and all, but this guy was creepy. And did you notice he was with both a man and a woman?  I can’t help but be reminded of Sister Clarice’s STO clan.  Is there any chance Cairon is an STO member back on Caprica? 

What’s with all the zeppelins? 

Okay, back to the boardroom and the gratuitous Cylon self-mutilation.  Alessandra Toresani is doing a great job with this character.  Interesting to see this projection of “humanity” when she follows the directive of her father/creator, after his unsettling speech about creating a slave race to serve humanity.  Wow.  And BTdubs, Daniel needs to lose Graystone Enterprises, or be kicked around some more by the Adamas.  Or both.  What a jerk.

So, Caprica, I give you another week. Show me what you’ve got.

Peace, Holly

HOLD THE RETRO PHONE

Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.

What a difference one episode makes. I have been sucked back into caring what happens on Caprica just when I was ready to write it off. The promo did not make me want to see it much. It was going to have to do with Joseph’s dead daughter Tamara. Plus, the listing said something about Joseph and Willie going on a fishing trip and having an emotionally revealing time. That alone was enough to make me not watch. Yet, I did and am thankful.

For one thing, I was reminded this is in fact a sci-fi show. There were some nifty special effects and some genuine surprises. Tamara is thinking she is just “stuck” in V-world and is trying to get out. She enlists the help of some gamers to help her. This leads her to “New Cap City” which has a Blade Runner vibe (in a good way). Tamara has a unique “ability” in V-world, which is she does not “de-res” when she virtually dies. No one knows at this point it is because she is actually dead in the real world. Before it is over, she is getting a Neo/Matrix thing going. Plus, she looks much better in heels than Keanu Reeves.

Plus, I am happy to report that the emotional fishing trip ends with Willie beaning a bully in the head with a rock and then beating the crap out of him. He has learned well from his uncle. Because of this outburst, Joseph reluctantly undergoes a Tauron ritual in which he lets his wife and daughter “go” so he does not lose his son, too.

Meanwhile, Daniel Graystone is fighting to keep his company. An emergency meeting of the Board of Directors seems to have the votes needed to oust him because of his attempt to make holoband technology free. Daniel counters with showing off the Zoe/Cylon as the next big thing. At first you are rooting for Daniel to keep his company. Before the meeting is over, though, you wish for humanity’s sake he had lost it. You can begin to see why an artificial sentient life would not like Daniel for a master.

This episode has bought Caprica some time in my lineup. Let's see if they can keep it up.

You Are Getting Very Sleepy

I have to hand it to you, Holly. Your post about Caprica was more entertaining than the show itself. If Battlestar Galatica was this boring, I am glad I missed it after all. I kept dozing off, so I had to change the channel over to NBC every so often to watch a little ice dancing for excitement.

The bedroom scene in the beginning of the episode turned me off. The idea of four people in bed was supposed to be titillating, but it came across as just icky to me. Perhaps it is because one of the guys appears to be young enough to be Mrs. Willow’s son. Polly Walker was so good in Rome it pains me to see her stifled in this role.

Grandma Adama did suddenly become a very interesting character in this episode. I could see her offing Mrs. Graystone and then serving her up to Daniel in some kind of Tauron Casserole. We need to give her and Sam their own HBO show called The Taurono’s and turn them loose.

The dancing robot scene was seriously goofy. All the scenes with the Cylon/Zoe/Avatar and the nerdy tech guy are about as disturbing as Demi Moore kissing Whoopi Goldberg near the end of Ghost. Sure…it is supposed to be Patrick Swayze on the inside, but you are still swapping slobber with the exterior. The way the show is going, I am surprised they did not have Zoe simulate an orgasm as the nerd tinkered around her metal loins.

I thought the same thing about Agent Duram’s boss, Holly. I even went to IMdB to find out if it was the same actor. Apparently not, but I did find an interesting Mad Men connection. There is an actor on Caprica named…get this…Sterling Cooper. I shit you not.

As far as Daniel claiming to create Zoe's avatar goes, I think...yawn...oh just wake me up when the robots start shooting, okay?

Caprica - The Cylons Were Right About These People

Well Chip, I managed to make it through another episode of Caprica.  Let’s see, where to start?

Computer geek and Cylon Zoe dancing - why?

Gratuitous menage a quatre at Sister Clarice’s house  - pourquoi?

Grandma who doesn’t care that her grandson skipped school to hang out with his gangster uncle - whaaaaaaaa?

I don’t know who is writing this stuff, but I’m getting more than a little suspicious this show is what happens when the chess club huffs paint.

But on to the plot....with Graystone Industries in a free fall, Daniel Graystone decides to go on the Caprican version of Letterman to talk about Zoe’s death and her apparent involvement with Soldiers of the One.  Amanda Graystone unexpectedly walks onto the set.  Unlike her last PR debacle, in which she announced on TV that Zoe was a terrorist, her presence seemed to save the situation, which Daniel was not handling well.

Sam Adamo, Joseph’s less-conflicted-about-his-evil-side brother, impersonates a driver after gaining backstage access by flashing his Tauron tattoos to a similarly inked stagehand.  He gives Amanda a ride, ostensibly part of a plan to kill her at Joseph’s request, but doesn’t go through with it after Joseph calls off the hit by texting him with a rather antiquated looking cell phone.  (BTW Chip, did you catch the old school cameras the press had during the GDD’s high school locker raid?  I suppose they’re trying to do something purposeful with all this retro tech and wardrobe juxtaposed with the futuristic elements of this show, but at times I’m left wondering if they’re going to get to the point, or if there is no point and it’s just something they’ve picked up from Big Love?)  Initially, I was disappointed that Sam didn’t kill Amanda, but then I realized how much Daniel-brooding we’re being spared as long as she’s alive. Go Amanda!

We also learn in this episode that Ruth, Joseph’s mother-in-law (I incorrectly identified her as his mother previously), is one badass Tauron.  I was shocked, shocked I tell you when she told Joseph that the dead aren’t dead till their deaths were avenged.  Nice parallel between her statement that the dead are in limbo and the holiband’s V World. Up until now, I thought Ruth was just grouchy because she had to pick up around the house.  But clearly she’s got a bigger ax to grind with the Adamo boys. She’s not going to stand for much of Joseph’s conflicted conscience about having Sam off Amanda as retribution for the bombing. Grandma Ruth also wowed me with her advice to young Will, who wants to be a locker room attendant for the Pyramid team but thought he didn’t have a chance at the gig because Joseph and Daniel aren’t friends these days.  Ruth told him sometimes you get the best things from your enemies.  And Ruth was scaring me a little (okay a lot) in that meat cleaver kitchen scene.  Joseph, my man, you’d better sleep with one eye open with this mother-in-law in the house.

I’m struggling to stay interested in the intrigue, if it can be called that, going on with Sister Clarice, Lacy, the bike shop guy, and anyone else in Soldiers of the One.  That story line needs to get moving, STAT. And no more slumber parties, you perverts! The most interesting thing I’ve noticed in the STO storyline lately is how much Agent Duram’s boss (the guy in the suit with the big nose) looks like Henry Francis from Mad Men.  And I think we all know how I feel about Henry Francis.

Zoe 2.0 in V World, good fashion decision.  I was getting tired of your other club dress.

One final point.  Chip, did you notice that Daniel said he created Zoe’s avatar?  Not true - Zoe created her own avatar, which Daniel didn’t know until after her death.  What’s that all about?

Peace, Holly

If You Are So Reclined

Tell me Holly... do you own a Snuggie? Somehow this is how I picture you this weekend.

Caprica

I am also going to give the Cylons another shot. Right at the very end of the last episode, there was a glimmer of hope. Good guy Joseph Adama put out a hit on the wife of his developing nemesis, Daniel Graystone. I like to be surprised and even bothered by the actions of characters sometimes. It seems more real than straight up heroes and villains. I will be even more surprised if it comes to pass. If Amanda is offed, that is one way to ensure poor Zoe will never have to watch her parents frak again.

Burn Notice

I know this is not your cup of tea, Holly, but this is part of my weekend lineup. Would it help if Jeffrey Donovan grew a Tom Selleck moustache and donned some short shorts?

The In-betweeners

Speaking of tea, I am also going to sample some BBC America sometime before Monday. Thanks to your recommendation, I have enjoyed the pilot of this series and am looking forward to the further misadventures of these poor wankers.

Men of a Certain Age

I have DVR'd a couple of episodes of this TNT series. I have enjoyed its deliberate pace and believable characters up to this point. The dialogue among the guys is clever and realistic. The dramatic situations are genuine and sometimes strike all too close to home for this man of a certain age. It helps that the trio of friends are played by actors I have enjoyed in other series over the years. Scott Bakula, Andre Braugher and Ray Romano have all shown unexpected depth in their portrayals. Contrary to some descriptions, this is NOT a Sex and the City for men. I am not even sure what that could possibly mean.

Tiger Woods Press Conference

I was so put off by all the hype leading up to this "event" I swore I would not watch. This was not a Presidential announcement or even "news" by most definitions. Yet, I am ashamed to admit I found myself watching as it unfolded. I was left feeling thankful that I have not been in a position that required a public apology for all the stupid shit I have done in my life. Let those without sin, cast the first golf ball.

So this is what will be on as I lean back in my recliner and cozy up to my own bowl of popcorn. Minus the Snuggie, of course.

What I'm Watching This Weekend

I don’t know about you, Chip, but these four-day weeks really wear me out.  Cramming five days worth of the peace and love that is my workplace into a mere four can really take it out of a girl. So more than usual, I’m looking forward to turning on the gas logs, nuking myself some Orville, and catching up on my DVR and DVD kitty.  Want to know what I’ll be watching?  Be warned, it’s not pretty:

Caprica
Despite my better judgment, I’m giving the new episode of this Syfy franchise one more last chance. Chip, I think you and I were both throwing up in our mouths a little over the last episode’s dead-kid-trapped-in-a-robot parental sex scene.  One more cheap trick like that and I’m going to be rooting for the Cylons to destroy humanity.

Footballers’ Wives
I love the British tabloids.  I mean loooove them. The photos! The judgmental finger-wagging! The loose journalistic standards! In the wake of the ongoing trials-by-press of Chelsea football (that's soccer to us Yanks) stars John Terry and Ashley Cole (and perhaps in honor of Ashley’s wife Cheryl’s landing on California soil this week to wash that man right outta her hair, La La Land style), I’m giving a test run to Footballers’ Wives, a now-cancelled Brit program (programme?) that had a four-year run on ITV. I have high hopes for the entertainment value of these WAGs and their troubles, real and imagined.

Glee
Still working my way through some of the episodes I missed of the hilarious first half-season of my favorite band of geeks. If ever there were a show begging for a walk-on from Sarah Palin, this is it. I just want to be up on the plotlines when that craziness goes down.

Tiger Woods Press Conference
What a hot mess this is.  It’s like media roadkill.  Gross, yet I can’t help but look.

What’s on your digital agenda, Chip?

Peace, Holly

A Dash of Caprica

Like Holly, I have a Sci-Fi geek side. I followed the X-files from the beginning, but did not stick around for its lousy Mulder-free ending. “Fringe” is a worthy successor to that show with its consistent weirdness, sexy partners and overall mythology. I have also gotten caught up in the “Lost” phenomenon in spite of the hype. Even though I enjoy it, I am thankful it is coming to an end this year. Don’t tell Holly I watch these network shows. She’s all about cable.

I also watched the 70’s incarnation of “Battlestar Galactica” but not the recent one. All I know about the more recent version is that a really hot chick plays Starbuck. That kind of messes with my head. Someone suggested I watch the two-hour pilot/premiere of Caprica, which I did with no great expectations.

The rave scene initially put me off because I did not watch far enough to see that it was a virtual fantasy. I was afraid it was yet another dystopian future ala’ “Blade Runner.” Watching further on a second attempt, I found myself intrigued by the idea of monotheism being cult-like and extreme.

The virtual reality holo-thingy did not seem as original as the sheet of paper that served as an email provider. I like the contrast of the mundane with the futuristic. If you disagree with a call playing tennis, you can activate little sensors to be the line judge for you. Even though there are laser rifles, you can still get offed by a good old-fashioned knife. Joseph drives a car straight out of the American 1950’s.

The Taurons seem to reflect an ethnicity that has a history of violence. Joseph Adama has tried to leave it behind, but his brother Sam appears to be a regular enforcer for a local gangster. In the pilot he brutally murders a man. In the second episode, he takes his nephew along for an “errand” in which he teaches Little Willie Adama some of the tricks of the trade. I imagine they come in handy later when the humans are fighting for their lives against the Cylons. Curiously, the tough guy brother tosses off a little comment that makes it appear he is gay. He tells his nephew a story about checking out the guys while his father was checking out the girls. He then throws a trashcan through the window of someone that needs terrorized and it calls to mind the beatdown Sonny Corleone gave his brother-in-law in the Godfather.

The school headmistress is indeed creepy, but still kind of sexy because I saw her in "Rome" on HBO. She certainly has "mysterious intrigue" down to an art. Will we get to see a sex scene with this group marriage? It is cable after all.

I am curious to see how they develop the monotheism as minority theme. Are they going to come across as sympathetic or crazy? How will that figure into the endgame of this story which we know has to do with the near destruction of the human race by beady red-eyed robots.

In Caprica We Trust

I begin with a confession. I have a little bit of sci fi fan in me. Just a little. Enough to have watched the campy Battlestar Galactica back in the 1970s (although that was at least 50% a schoolgirl crush on the actor who played Starbuck), but not enough to have watched its broody reincarnation that aired a few years ago. So I came to Caprica without any expectations. But that means I don’t have the BG chops to understand what’s going on “58 years before the fall,” either.

At first I thought Caprica was going to be just another copycat space show, but when I saw it advertised in the New Yorker and then heard a promo for it on NPR, I decided to try it out. Okay, that and I needed something to watch because I hadn’t timed my Netflix deliveries right and had nothing better to watch.

Let’s start with the preliminaries. My first question was whether Caprica rhymes with paprika. It doesn’t. Note to self - a show title you have to “know” how to pronounce is Clue #1 this program takes itself a little too seriously.

The foreign world Caprica seems a little familiar - a parallel Earth of the not-so-distant future, where everyone wears a lot of black and seems oddly disconnected. Robots do the dirty work, and everyone has a lot of time to pursue happiness. Only no one is smiling.

Here’s a basic rundown of what I picked up from the premiere (Ep. 101, Pilot) and next episode (Ep. 102, Rebirth).

The show depicts two families from different ends of the Caprican spectrum. There is the privileged Graystone family – scientist Daniel (Eric Stolz, hot mess level = high), wife Amanda (a doctor in her own right and a bit of a harpy for someone who is married to Eric Stolz, if you ask me), and angst-ridden teenage daughter Zoe (Alessandra Torresani). The other family, the Adamas, are Taurons – ethnic underdogs. The Adama patriarch is Joseph (Esai Morales), a successful criminal defense lawyer who has hidden his Tauron background on the way up. His young son is William, who apparently goes on to greatness in Battlestar Galactica. Joseph’s wife and daughter die in the pilot, explained below. Joseph has some connections with some mean mofos – the kind that would rather, and do, kill their enemies the old-fashioned way, with their bare hands.

The opening sequence has Zoe Graystone romping through an anything-goes rave, where teens dance, drink, copulate, and kill each other. These kids today. We learn this is a virtual reality pastime for the youth of Caprica, who have commandeered Daniel’s creation, the holiband, to visit these virtual sin dens. (The holiband is a more sophisticated version of the gold banana clip that dude from Fame wore on the “new” Star Trek, which allows one to inhabit the virtual reality of his or her choice.) Daniel, in typical clueless parent fashion, doesn’t know the kids have repurposed his creation. (Incidentally, the holiband was intended for “adult” entertainment. I love the scene in which Daniel tries to get Joseph to use it for the first time, and Joseph says something along the lines of “I’m not really into that sort of thing.”)

Zoe is a child genius and has created an avatar of herself in her imaginary holiband world. This avatar is a virtual clone, who looks like and interacts with Zoe, but who lives only in the virtual world. Zoe is still working on perfecting her avatar, and her virtual representation is prone to shorting out at critical moments.

We learn that Zoe and her BFF Lacy and her BF are all monotheists. I know you are thinking, “Dammit Holly, speak English here.” That means they believed in a God, not a bunch of gods. Let’s just say Caprica isn’t the Bible Belt and monotheism isn’t something to shout from the mountaintops. Monotheist extremists, members of Solders of the One, advocate terrorism.

Zoe gets in trouble for using the holiband in the school bathroom, and her parents give her a good riot act reading when she gets home. (Sidebar – that creepy Gothic school is straight out of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart video.) Shortly after the parental tongue-lashing, Zoe, Lacy, and BF (the latter of whom looks like the Harry Potter dude) decide to run away to Gemenon, apparently a planet full of fundamentalist religious types. Lacy chickens out as Zoe and Harry Potter are boarding a mass transit train. Unbeknownst to Zoe, Harry Potter is one of the terrorist-type monotheists and had strapped his body with explosives, which he detonates rather dramatically, killing himself, Zoe, the wife and daughter of the Adama clan, and other innocents. Just before he detonates himself, he sends a message to Zoe’s mom from Zoe’s computer/communication device, which Mom later interprets as containing an admission of guilt from Zoe in the terrorism.

Zoe’s parents are, predictably, devastated at the loss of their only child. Weeping and wailing follow in short order. Pretty soon, Daniel Graystone and Joseph Adama’s inevitable meeting takes place and the two bond over death and cigarettes. A wary friendship develops.

Meanwhile, Daniel finds out about Zoe’s secret life via the holiband and goes to her virtual world to visit her. He lets Joseph in on his discovery, and he takes Joseph to visit his own deceased daughter in virtual world, but Joseph reacts negatively. Daniel is conflicted. This virtual representation of Zoe isn’t the real deal, yet he is emotionally and intellectually compelled to “capture” Zoe’s avatar on one of his visits to virtual world, both for his own desire to have Zoe’s computer programming genius and to hold onto his daughter. While experimenting in his lab, Daniel loads the disk containing Zoe’s avatar into one of his Cylon robot prototypes. There is some sort of compatibility issue, and Zoe’s avatar becomes stuck in the Cylon, with the disk that contained the avatar wiped out.

Cylon Zoe is then poked, prodded, restrained, and generally irritated like a stockyard animal. We see a grotesque warrior robot in some scenes, and a vulnerable teenager in others. Cylon Zoe makes contact with Lacy, but neither knows what to do. All that’s clear is Avatar Zoe doesn’t dig life as Cylon Zoe and wants to get to Gemenon, STAT!

Before the interaction with Cylon Zoe, Lacy’s life was already beyond creepy when the headmistress of Gothic High, Sister Clarice, had her over for lunch. Turns out Sister Clarice is a member of a group marriage and has numerous husbands and wives. If that’s not enough, they were serving squirrel for lunch. And it just keeps getting better – Sister Clarice is a closet member of Soldiers of the One, the terrorist group responsible for Zoe’s death. Sister Clarice’s husband (#3? #4? How many are there?) wants to get in her pants. All this and your dead best friend’s avatar is trapped in a big, scary Cylon. Sucks to be Lacy.

MY THOUGHTS: The most intriguing thing in this series is the concept of playing God. Zoe and her friends are monotheists, yet Zoe dabbled in creating life in her avatar. Then she dies, and her father attempts to keep her alive through the avatar, even though he knows she isn’t real. He goes so far as to cross the threshold between virtual reality and reality by bringing her avatar into the real world, and then loads it into a Cylon, a robot who is supposed to be able to reason like a person. The avatar then becomes stuck in his Cylon prototype, and cannot be retrieved or duplicated. Similarly, Lacy is a monotheist, yet she engages Zoe’s avatar after Zoe is gone and continues contact with Cylon Zoe once she learns the avatar is trapped inside. And we have the Soldiers of the One, who advocate believe in a supreme being, yet advocate advancing their agenda by playing God with the lives of others.

Interesting to see how Joseph, the shady Tauron criminal defense lawyer, seems to have the more highly tuned conscience than fair-haired Daniel about artificial life. Yet Joseph is not above having his thug associates do his dirty work for him. Chip, did you catch the parallels between murder/bedroom/crying montage towards the end of Episode 102 and the christening/bloodbath montage from the Godfather? Or am I imagining that?

Costuming – interesting that Caprica is such a decadent society, yet its citizens dress like our grandparents. What’s that all about? Those getups the Graystones were wearing playing triangle tennis out back reminded me of Dustin Hoffman poolside in a buttondown shirt in The Graduate.

Young William Adama is soaking it all up, isn’t he? I’m sure there’s lots of BG backstory here that I don’t get because I didn’t watch the recent BG. Wonder what it is?

Final analysis – I’m not giving up on Caprica, but I’m not quite hooked yet.